tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post2093022126449344991..comments2024-02-02T19:40:16.372-08:00Comments on me and you and ellie: Carrot and stickMe, You, or Elliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13159195620327366257noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-4027969547836842432010-02-13T08:28:10.342-08:002010-02-13T08:28:10.342-08:00Yeah, time and time again, science and experience ...Yeah, time and time again, science and experience support the carrot. Positive reinforcement. It has a better success rate than punishment.<br /><br />But... to be honest, your kid sounds perfectly age appropriate. That doesn't mean that you just let it go, but it means that this is kind of how this age is for that big heap of kids in the middle of the bell-shaped curve. There are some really anal-retentive, OCD, perfectionistic types who get all their stuff in on time, but they're that little part to the right of the big bump in the curve.<br /><br />It's just a combination of reminders, reinforcement for the behavior you like to see and patience (on your part). It will get better over the next couple of years as she starts to see the intrinsic rewards for remembering stuff (getting good grades becomes more important, she starts to realize that life is easier when you just get it done, and so on). <br /><br />Good luck with it though, it sucks, I know, I'm in the same boat with my middle one right now.Ritahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06434151165867029916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-20710214312092715022010-02-12T14:32:48.700-08:002010-02-12T14:32:48.700-08:00Yes, I recently read an interesting press release ...Yes, I recently read an interesting press release that supports the carrot approach, for younger children, at least:<br /><br />http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-09/lu-f1y092508.php<br /><br />I would think this would include your dogs too, Kathi, even if you do think they're smarter than the average 8 year old kid :-)Me, You, or Elliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13159195620327366257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-9168311767958890642010-02-12T14:26:02.814-08:002010-02-12T14:26:02.814-08:00I know kids aren't dogs (but some of you poor ...I know kids aren't dogs (but some of you poor people can't have dogs so you have to settle for children). Nonetheless, we have learned that the carrot approach works much better for dog training. It's hard (REALLY REALLY REALLY HARD!) for me to have the patience to do it that way sometimes, but by actual practice, our pups learn faster by reward than by punishment. <br /><br />Or, as a grizzled old guy with perfectly behaved working sheepdogs told me once, years and years ago when I asked how he taught them to do all that: "I just catch them doing the right thing and praise them for it."Kathi Dhttp://ithinkwereallbozos.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-46604939071101285332010-02-12T10:15:40.927-08:002010-02-12T10:15:40.927-08:00I sometimes offer my kids a dime per item to bring...I sometimes offer my kids a dime per item to bring home all their crap from the lost and found. It's amazing how many jackets and sweatshirts suddenly turn up! Mine are also both very forgetful about homework lately, I just threaten to have a meeting with their teacher about their lousy work habits and they miraculously remember it all the next day. I can't tell you how many homework folders we've made and treasured and eventually lost. If it gets really bad, I'll set a "no computer until you catch up" agreement. The tricky thing is that they know how I feel about homework and that I will often let them delay doing it if we have something else going on, so they've grown accustomed to being okay with it being late. The school is supportive of this though, so as long as it eventually gets done, everyone is happy. Except the sucker doing the fractions, I imagine. <br /><br />JacquieMe, You, or Elliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13159195620327366257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-2449898554930321402010-02-12T09:41:58.140-08:002010-02-12T09:41:58.140-08:00how about carrot cake
Nonniehow about carrot cake<br />NonnieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-32421555525704770162010-02-12T09:08:44.557-08:002010-02-12T09:08:44.557-08:00sounds like she has too many sweatshirts and not e...sounds like she has too many sweatshirts and not enough cold weather :~)<br /><br />poor girl...she might grow up to be me!<br />I would say the incentive to get a star for the day when everything is remembered which could earn you a chance to pick the Saturday night viewing option may go a long way but it might help if she sees the "natural consequence" of not having her work...lower grades and/or repercussions at school. That helps get you out of the loop and may be a better lesson. (plus..DO NOT buy anymore sweatshirts)<br />I'm no expert but my 14 yr old does much better when I put the stick down...although my head hurts from the wall banging and my tongue might need stitched together by the time he graduates from high school.<br />Keep us posted :)thinking of you in Central PAnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4146073139129271180.post-64594868050995326072010-02-12T09:06:06.191-08:002010-02-12T09:06:06.191-08:00Oh, I love the comic.
Good luck with the homewor...Oh, I love the comic. <br /><br />Good luck with the homework project. She's no dummy -- homework's a drag!<br /><br />But hey, at least it's not pee.<br /><br />xxEllieMe, You, or Elliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13159195620327366257noreply@blogger.com