back-asswards

I’ve had a few interactions with the police lately. But don’t worry mom, they can’t prove anything. There was that officer who idled next to me when I changed my pants, and of course there was the police business of my break-in – which was so disappointing, just for the record. I thought they’d come out and dust for prints, canvas the scene, interview witnesses, and nab the perp. But they just took my number and said an officer would call me back to take the report over the phone, and if no one called within 24 hours I should call them again. To their credit, I got a call within a couple of hours, a sweet officer who said things like: “Geez, that guy was fast!” and “Thank God he didn’t get your purse!” In my head, he looked like this:

But I digress. I also had a police incident at work recently, and we went to a safety expo in our neighborhood last weekend where the kids and I talked to lots of police men and women, and they even got to sit on CHP motorcycles.

These recent police interludes were all significant to me, because I have been trying to capture a specific digital image for some time now and I've been keen to find the opportunity. I finally got it yesterday!

It was hard, I needed a photo of the passenger side of a local police car, and while I had a few opportunities to get one while driving, I was too scared I'd vear into oncoming traffic, which is probably frowned upon by the police. Or worse, I might have been seen taking the photo by the cop. Wouldn't that violate the hands-free rule?

This all started a few weeks ago when I was driving the kids around, and a police car stopped next to us. We were checking out the car and could not help but notice this:



The kids wanted to know why the flag was backwards. I could not imagine an answer! What the hell? It’s not like the way ambulance is written backwards on the front of a rig so you can read it in your rearview mirror, this just does not make sense. I signaled to the cop that I had a question, and he rolled down his window. “We were just wondering why the flag on your car is backwards”, I said curiously.

He said that all the flag stickers are the same, there is no left or right side distinction. So the flags look right on the driver side...


but they are fucking backwards on the passenger side!


Is it me, or is this complete lunacy? Did someone make a conscious decision to do this? Did they just figure “ah, what the hell, just slap ‘em on there. No one will notice.” Or did someone fuck up royally and order like 50 gazillion flag stickers before realizing that exactly half of them would be BACKWARDS?

I do not know what to do about this. It disturbs me. It’s embarrassing. I wouldn’t put a fucking backwards flag sticker on my car, and it's not like anyone is expecting me to be a model of civic responsibility.

Silly peeps.

What would the real police think?