Customer Appreciation Day

Once upon a time, about, oh, 12 days ago, my friend Johnny Slips heard I was assuming Tavern duties while our esteemed leaders were going away on vacation. "I'm opening up every day, Johnny Slips, for 12 days" I said. "Hey, maybe I'll come see you every day, then. Maybe I'll go 12 for 12."

The idea spread like wildfire.

You think it's easy? Coming in to the Tavern every day for 12 days in a row? When you have to work, or drive your wife to the airport, or pick up your kids, or just bask on your sunny deck? Well, let me tell you, it is not easy, but did that stop my customers? No, it did not.

Because my customers are a dogged, tenacious, determined group.

Do these look like people who would let things like work and wives and kids and sunny days stop them from coming into the Tavern to see me every day?

Of course not.

I kept a strict attendance tally, which had odds for who would go 12-for-12, but it mysteriously disappeared after Day 10.

I smell a rat.

The new tally is not nearly as interesting. First of all, it's got no odds. Second of all, it's all new and fresh and has no 10-day-old spilled-beer bar patina. Third of all, well, I'm just mad. That was a piece of history, people.

Anyway. The stars, you ask? You get a star if you bring me snacks. Simple as that. The stars represent, from top to bottom:

• a tuna sandwich -- update: it was a whole tuna sandwich
• half a cubano, still warm
• tomato soup to die for
• half a beef and rice burrito
• cookies
• three buckets of clam fritters*

*Esh brought the clam fritters. And sausage pizza. His star got lost on its way to the new list. He's not 11-for-11, though. Johnny Slips said, "Give him all the stars he wants; he's an also-ran."

Anyway. I've been eating like a king all week. These are good customers.

Naturally, I wanted to reward my good customers for their loyal support and patronage, and for their snacks. To give back just a little, after receiving so much.

That's right. Yesterday was Customer Appreciation Day.

We had cheese and crackers and olives and bread . . .

. . . we had carrots and hummus and celery and goldfish . . .

Everybody ate like kings yesterday.

Finally I had to pass the bar over to Paulie B . . .

. . . and join my good customers on the other side of the bar . . .

. . . which wasn't so bad . . .

. . . not bad at all.

In the meantime, though, there's this crazy volcano in Iceland that's screwing with the world. Maybe you've heard?

And it looks like my assumed Tavern duties will continue for a while longer . . .

But I have deep and profound faith in my customers. They're good customers, after all. Work? Kids? Sunny deck? Eyjafjallajokull? As if any of that could stop them.

Tomorrow? Cafe Ellie, Day 13. You in?