Wednesday, October 5, 2011

...doff thy name

I was working away today, trying to locate a subscriber in our subscriber database, when, not for the first time, I was struck by how unfortunate some people’s names are. These people in particular are physicians, so they are typically addressed as Dr So-and-so. I’m sorry, but I just have to laugh when I think of patients saying these names (and yes, all of these are actually in this database, which is limited to those interested in neuroscience, so we’re talking a pretty limited list):

Dr. Gross
Dr. Hummer
Dr. Krass
Dr. Letcher
Dr. Smuts

As I thought about this a little more, and scanned through more of the names in our database, I really started to giggle when I thought about how perfectly inappropriate some of these names would be if these docs had not opted to go into neurology, but into various other specialties:

Dermatologists:
Dr. Tan
Dr. Supple

Surgeons:
Dr. Sharp
Dr. Staab
Dr. Skinner

Plastic surgeons:
Dr. Tuck
Dr. Lipps
Dr. Butts

Ob/Gyns:
Dr. Papp
Dr. Cherry
Dr. Beaver

Urologists:
Dr. Cock
Dr. Hung
Drs. Wienier/Weaner/Weiner
Dr. Ball
Dr. Dong
Dr. Wang

Proctologists:
Drs. Sitwell / Sit
Dr. Butts
Dr. Moon

I know, I am very, very mature. And just to prove this, I’ll have you know that I ordered Ben & Jerry’s newest ice cream flavor this weekend. Yes, I stepped up and ordered myself a scoop of Schweddy Balls. (ew!). (Really, if you’ve not ever seen this classic SNL skit, you should.)  What can I say? It’s "Fair Trade vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and is loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls." It was yummy; I did blush a bit though. But, probably not as much as I would have if Dr. Letcher was performing my a breast exam ;-)

6 comments:

  1. These are all real?!? Oh my. :) Dr. Butts. Heh.

    My husband's uncle's last name is Teacher. And he IS a teacher.

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  2. When we were growing up Dad had a couple of colleagues, married to eachother, with the last name Doctor. Dr and Dr Doctor. That just thrilled me as a kid.

    Oh! And you do know Dr. Weiner has two daughters, right? Anita and Ophelia.

    Ellie


    (And that Scweddy Balls skit? Perfection. But did B&J really name an ice cream flavor that? Ew is right.)

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  3. The Dr. Doctors have a daughter, who is also Dr. Doctor...fun post Beth. Mom C.

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  4. There is actually a Ob/Gyn in our group named Dr. Cherry. She is the OB, while her husband, the other Dr. Cherry is a orthopedist....probably better that is wasn't reversed.

    My kids can't believe that we grewup with a Mr Weiner and and Mr Slaughter as school principals :)

    I'll have to send you the news clipping of the murder trial where a Mr. Boob was killed by his wife, who ordered the hitman thru a 3rd party named Butts (can't make this stuff up) It was tragic and funny and I'm glad I wasn't the editor!

    Rod's Pap is in a retirement home called Nipples Convalescent Home (really?! even if it is your family name, you don't have to put it on your business!)

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  5. Oh, it was always such a thrill to answer the phone when Dr. Weiner called!

    And I concur on the ick factor of schweaty balls, but mostly because I don't care for balls of the malted milk variety.

    Funny post, Beth!

    xo
    Jacquie

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  6. I once saw a GYN when a student at Uconn named Ilsik Oh. Say it altogether...Dr. Ilsikoh....made me nervous but all went well!

    Very funny and I too remember Dr. and Dr. Doctor from my Norwalk days!

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