The first time my husband slept over at my parents’ house, he
was banished to the basement in a valiant attempt to preserve my sainted
chastity. The next morning, he emerged from the staircase a swollen, seeping
mess. His allergic reaction to the damp abyss of his subterranean chambers was
so severe that my parents took mercy and allowed him up to my sacred chamber. There
were, after all, twin beds up there.
There was a time in my life when having to share twin beds
with my husband would have been disappointing at best, a deal breaker if being
considered for any prolonged period of time. I remember after my girl was born
and my parents came to stay, I went to say good morning to them and asked how
they had slept in their twin beds. My dad replied: “Twin beds suck.”
When we arrived at my husband’s childhood home last week for
a visit, we had our choice of rooms, there was a bed for everyone. Two in the
blue room and two in the brown. The kids were not big fans of the décor in the blue
room, and when their dad started channeling “Talky Tina” they bolted to the
relative safety of the brown room.
I chose the bed by the window and hid the dolls out of sight.
When it came time to tuck myself in, I was immediately smitten. No one
rolled over and took the covers with him. No one complained about my reading
light. I could add or remove blankets without consultation. No one breathed on
me, or ejected any other explosive bodily emission. And no one complained if I
did any of the aforementioned offensive acts. In the night, there was even a
change up of roommates that barely stirred me from my sleep. Twin beds! I love twin
beds. Kinda lonely, though.
After two nights at the in-laws, we arrived home and got
ready for bed. There were noises. There were cold feet. There were emissions. There
were blanket wars. There were laughs. And he’s warm.
Twin beds are okay to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live
there.
I'm reading this after it feels like I slept with godzilla last night.
ReplyDelete"You can't steal *all* the covers."
"I don't *want* all the covers."
"But you *have* al the covers!"
And oh, the snoring.
Thankfully, I think all the explosive bodily emissions were all mine.
Great post, sistah!
xxEllie
You two are funny.
ReplyDeleteI am a fan of the twin bed. Although I have myself my very own queen right now, which is even better.
I suppose some day I'll get lonely. But not yet.
xoxo,
Beth