My pity party and the purple plastic purse

There is a line from one of my favorite children's books, "Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse" by Kevin Henkes that reads "Today was a difficult day. Tomorrow will be better."

This simple statement, a short note written to Lilly by her teacher, Mr. Slinger, and placed in her purple plastic purse before giving it back to her at the end of the school day, after having to take it away from her earlier, has become a phrase of solace for me.

Does that seem childish? No matter -- it's so succinct, and true, and really what I need to hear sometimes.

I had a difficult day today, and I know that tomorrow will be better. And if not tomorrow then the next day. Or the next.

I haven't felt this low in quite a while. I'm by nature a relatively content person, and especially in the last number have years have tried hard to cultivate positivity and soldier on in the face of adversity.

Let's be clear, I am living in the most affluent nation in the most affluent of all times. I know this. I do not have real problems. I am not starving. I am not living in a war-torn area. I am not watching my child die of dehydration. I am not a woman living in a society where I can be stoned for adultery.

I have it easy. A job, good health care, access to more food that I could ever need, a home with 3 toilets. It's an embarrassment of riches. I practice gratitude every day.

Yet still the distress, the feelings of doubt.

I want to be enough. I want to be able to do it all. I want to be all I need. But when I look ahead at the challenges to come, the raising of three girls in today's world, the prospect of giving each of them what is best for them emotionally, physically, financially and spiritually, all the while working full time and negotiating with two ex husbands -- well shit, it might be a long, hard run.

My life choices, or reactions to other people's choices, are my own. I get that. I am here because of me and me only. No one made me do this. Or that. Or the other thing.

But sometimes, well sometimes I look around at think to myself, it's a high climb up and out of here.....

Guess there is nothing left to do but run and skip and hop and fly my way out.

Just like Lilly.