Heat Wave

Martha and the Vandellas have got nothing on us.

What we have here? We have what we've been waiting for for approximately one million years. Or at least all through that long winter and chump spring.

We have got ourselves an old fashioned Heat Wave.

Compare and contrast, please:

Huh. Weird that our old thermometer had the Celsius scale on the left.

But anyway. No more single digits:

Right??

Vast amounts of mercury -- just the way we like it.

I can give you excellent and useful advice for a Heat Wave . . . would you like to hear it?

Yes?

Perfect.

1. Enjoy it. It's not Winter; it's Summer. It's the best thing in all the world.

2. Go to the beach. It's nice there. There's a breeze. And water. But don't come to my beach.

3. Never mind where my beach is; you have your own.

4. Go to the Ocean; make that your beach. Ride the Waves. Be an Ocean Goddess.

5. Have a good beach bag. Never leave it behind thinking, "I won't need this coolie cup or this wine opener." You will need them both. Every time. And you will be a hero to all your friends who forgot their coolie cups and wine openers.

6. Can you believe it's already almost the Fourth of July?

7. Ice. So much ice. Get twice as much as you think you'll need, then double it.

8. Beer. See #7, above, for amounts.

9. Ice.

10. Goldfish! They're made in Norwalk CT and they are the best snack in All The Land.

11. More snacks.

12. More ice.

13. More booze.

14. An umbrella for the love of god. It's 2018.

14. Chairs. Towels. Suntan lotion (we still call it that). Your Personal Beach Table. Beer and ice and snacks and coolers and all the friends you can gather because this is a fleeting moment, this beach time . . . this season . . . this Heat Wave.

15. You've got it from here.