Fleabag

You know the old adage, if it seems to be too good to be true it probably is? Well, it's true. Make that too good, to be true.

Two weeks before our departure for our summer road trip to Arizona, we realized that we would be staying at neither of my husband's brother's homes. We needed a hotel, and fast. Seeing as there are five of us, and one of us has a pretty sweet nap schedule, a two-room suite was in order.

My husband's tried and true Flagstaff hotel was asking $259 a night for this setup, before taxes and all those other bullshit charges they throw in. We were staying for three nights. We needed new accommodations. I got right to work. I pride myself in being able to ferret out a good Internet deal. I enjoy the challenge, and feel triumphant when I score.

I found us a two-room, two-bathroom suite, with microwave and fridge, etc., each room with a queen bed. Perfect. We were dragging along the baby's bed with us anyway, so we'd just set her up with the older girls. The rate was a economical $99 per night, all fees included. Yahoo!

I knew it would not be luxurious, but the photos looked okay. And the rating on Expedia was 3.9

This wasn't the same room type, but still -- nice lighting, flat screen, big fridge, clean looking, fine.

And the lobby looked small, but modern and welcoming. (And look at those computers with free Internet access for blogging. Plus free wi-fi in the rooms!)

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Plus daily hot breakfast was included, as well as a nightly social hour. Free beer and food? This is beginning to sound too good to be true!

I even kind-of liked the retro 50s look of "PJ's Historic Route 66 Cafe"

Wait? Route 66? This is where my you're-about-to-get-suckered alarm should have sounded, but didn't.

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We arrived hot and tired on a Friday afternoon after a lovely stay in Sedona, in a kick ass house. We were dubious when we pulled in, this was a definite downgrade, but check-in went fine and they pointed us toward our suite.

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It was not what we were hoping for. It was old, and cramped, and had that you-can-scrub-the-shit-out-of-this-place-all-day-long-and-it-would-still-be-dirty feel. The portable crib barely fit. There was absolutely no granite in the bathroom as on online photo had showed. The drapes were barely hanging on their rods. It was a dump!

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My husband took matters into his own hands and went to see about a room switch. The rest of us made ourselves comfortable.

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But not for long, we were moving to another room. A better room. Or so we thought.

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It was just as dirty, and just as small, with more furniture, which made it feel all the more cramped. The walls, however, were painted cheery colors. And we were now on the second floor so would not hear people walking above us. Okay, so we were much closer to Route 66. But we were spent, and the baby needed to nap. We could always move again in the morning.

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What we we didn't realize at the time was that right on the other side of 66 were train tracks! The passing trains were so close they rattled the windows. Every time. All through the night.

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We turned up the air conditioner. We stayed all three nights. We even let the baby eat and play on the bed and floor, bathroom included.
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What? It was already so dirty, what are a few pretzels and salt?

Okay, so I'm NOT mother of the year.

Or week.

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But my kids don't hold it against me. Look how forgiving that 6 year old is about opening her birthday presents on that disgusting carpet in that fleabag motel!

Good sports, I tell you.

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I was going to write a bad hotel reveiw last week upon my return, but the hotel employees were extremely nice, and it's probably good for the soul to stay in a dump every now and again, and this guy summed it up so perfectly, that I decided there was no need for me to re-state:
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"Filthy! 50s Route 66 Dive."

Hotel Aspen InnSuites Flagstaff/Grand Canyon

11 Jul 2010

Totally misrepresented website. Nothing worked in our room. Very noisy with train and freeway traffic. We lost $75.00 worth of our food because the fridge in our room stopped working and the front desk did nothing. Not remodeled as stated--only a new comfortable bed and some fresh paint slapped on a crumbling building. Extremely overpriced for a dump.

Note. Our fridge worked okay, but the air conditioning busted. But they did come and help us. To the best of their abilities. Sigh. OH, and I found the hotel listed in the Bedbug Registry. I kid you not. But as far as I know we're all bedbug free.

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The moral of the story is I'm a dumbass don't stay on Route 66, even if it sounds like a good deal.

Trust me, it's not.