My Gay Friend Jonnie

At a recent holiday gathering, my gay friend Jonnie voiced his chagrin that I have never blogged about him. I reminded him that I once offered to write a Mexican soap opera and cast him as Juannie the cabana boy, but that did not appease. He wanted a post about the real him, and indicated that he would only be satisfied when/if he were to open the blog and find the words "My Gay Friend Jonnie." So although Jonnie has never published a comment nor given me any tangible indication that he even reads the blog, I knew he'd soon get his wish. Because really, who could resist? 


As the post started to write itself in my head, I reflected on my friendship with Jonnie and all the other beautiful people in our shared social circle. I remembered a funny quote about having gay male friends, but I could not remember if that quote had been penned by Tina Fey or Jenny Lawson, and I had a hard time putting hands on my copies of either book. I figured out that Bossypants is on my kindle, so it couldn't have been that one because the quote had been in a book-book. I knew with certainty that the quote in question was from a book-book because I remembered having taken a photo of the passage when I read it.

Guess who has my copy of the book-book?

My Gay Friend Jonnie

The same you-know-who that I'd texted the photo of that quote to that day. I found it in my phone:

reprinted with permission from The Bloggess, cuz we're tight.      Larson, Jenny. Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir).New York: Penguin Group. 2012 

It's true. It is great to have fun, gay male friends, especially if they rock both assless chaps and acid-washed vests. In one outfit. Like Jonnie.

Jonnie is one of the whippersnappers I met through the gym. After working out together every day for a really long time, we became facebook friends. One day on facebook I was bitching about the lack of candy in my house, and Jonnie offered to bring me some the very next morning. 

This is the day I fell in love with My Gay Friend Jonnie. (Hi Amanda!)

He made those, like from sugary ingredients with no shortcuts. Plus they had booze. He's a pastry chef, you see. He makes crazy delicious things that don't even seem real, like cupcakes with candied bacon and candy crusted rum balls. At his party the other night, he tried to tell me how easy it was to make his boozy balls, and he used at least three disqualifying words in the first sentence alone.

He's gay and he's adorable and he bakes, but don't box My Gay Friend Jonnie into any stereotypes. 

Nobody puts Jonnie in a box!

Don't be fooled by the silly though, the inner Jonnie is a badass thug

So yeah, he is easy on the eyes, he is sweet and silly, he brings chocolate in an emergency, and he's a badass. What could he and I possibly have in common? 

The other night as we laughed and talked and screamed in fury at potential casting outrages that threaten the integrity of future broadway to big screen musical adaptations, I started to write a post in my head about My Gay Friend Jonnie, and my merry little band of misfits from the gym. Jenny is right, it is great to have fun, gay male friends. You should go get some. Mine are all young and well dressed, they smell good and they have six pack abs.  I may not be young, I might be sporting yoga pants and a pony tail... but I'm drinking a six pack, and that totally counts.

photo credit to the famously talented Bree, who proves that you don't have to be a pretty gay boy to be fabulous