I don't even remember writing this, but I love it:
TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 3, 2009
if you can't beat 'em (even when you really want to)...
Labels: by Jacquie
I
called home before my last errand to see if anyone had additions to the
grocery list. There was high drama in the house. The dog had just eaten
the boy’s new toy, the one he had taken the better part of an hour to
select with his Target gift card the previous evening. Come home, they
said, come home. But I was steadfast in my resolve. You can handle this,
people. It is tragic, but not fatal. We need groceries, kickoff is in
two hours and I’m bringing all the food. I’ll make it quick. I had
already been to the gym, Sears, and Home Depot. I had showered at the
gym, but had yet to ingest a drop of coffee and the satiation from my
morning banana was wearing off.
I arrived at the grocery store and found easy parking. I grabbed my canvas bags and made my way inside. Something was amiss. There
was nary a vacant cart out front. But there was a friendly cart guy,
and I got one from him. I walked in and noticed that it was crowded, but
I was a woman on a mission so I did not dwell. I started in produce,
picked up everything on my list: red apples, grapes, sweet onion,
lettuce. I hit the back of the next aisle as I passed the processed
foods section and grabbed the last two packages of toxic waste little
smokies. So it was not until I came around the bend of my third aisle,
seeking refried beans and crushed tomatoes, that I became fully apprised
of the situation. The check out line was stretched to a point about
halfway down the canned food aisle. Please do not read on until you have
paused to visualize this. The checkout line? Where they like to brag
that if more than 2 customers are queued up, they’ll open another lane?
It was HALF WAY DOWN the canned food aisle! I thought surely this must
be some bizarre express lane phenomenon, I had never seen anything like
it this. Surely it could not be like that in all the aisles!
It was.
This
presented two distinct problems. First, the obvious: it is going to
take forever. Second, the maddening: it is really, really hard to
maneuver your cart around the store when people and carts are blocking
all the space! I was so pissed, so chagrined, so irate! The day was half
over and turning to crap. I needed to holler at someone butquick.
I
looked back to my peaceful, spacious produce area. There were a couple
of decidedly calm employees milling about, watering the cucumbers and
whatnot. You know how they are always asking “can I help you find something?” or “how are you doing today?” That’s exactly what they were doing! Smiling at me! Wanting to help me!
I was floored. Did they not notice that everything was in the shitter?
People were waiting in line for ages, bumping into each other and having
to move their carts for others to get by! They had to ask other people to hand them things they could not reach! They had to talk to each other, solve problems, be patient! WHY ARE YOU IDIOTS SMILING AT A TIME LIKE THIS? I
felt my fingers being pulled into a fist. The force that was driving me
to punch the grin right off of the nearest face felt unstoppable. But
then the smile said something to me that stopped the freight train dead
in his tracks. He said: “isn’t this funny?”
It was funny - not 'ha ha' funny, but funny in that it was so different from what I've grown accustomed to expect from the masses.
And
I looked around again. At the strangers talking and laughing in line,
trying to move out of one another’s way, handing over what could not be
reached, bagging their own groceries, making the best of it.
I
tried to summon my rage, to reclaim my righteous indignation and pick a
good fight. But it was futile. Remember before Christmas when I wrote about the contagious nature of happiness? Maybe that was only half bullshit.
I sighed and finished my shopping. The aisles were blocked, but it
wasn’t a big deal. It’s just groceries, right? When I got to the check
out line, I grabbed the new People, and a selection of reading materials for my line buddies. It was turning out to be a pretty good day.
3 comments:
I love this post too, and a I also love the post that was linked within it!! Choose happiness, dammit! Right now! Be one of the smiling idiots at the grocery. Just. Do. It. ;)
I also love the title of this flashback. You have to read the post to get it. No skimming allowed.
I ALSO love that it is a Friday. And that I'll be sitting/standing next to your happy patch this evening.
xoxo,
Beth
But why? Why were the peeps lined up the aisles? Whada you guys live in Connecticut? Because every time our weekly snow storms hit, the grocery stores are clogged with milk-and-bread-seeking folk.
I'm a pretzel-and-chardonnay stor girl, myself.
xoxox
Ellie
I mentioned kick off, maybe it was a late Super Bowl year?
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