Saturday, November 1, 2008

Weekend 3-Way: Happy Hello, Weenie!

In honor of this godforsaken and never ending holiday, I ask the following of my co-blog-goddesses:

Describe the very best and the very worst Halloween costume that you have ever worn, seen, heard of, or better yet – forced your offspring to wear.

Bonus question: Name your favorite and least favorite candy?


The best costume I can think of was when Ellie and someone… was it Nancy? Were a couple of extra strength Tylenol in 1982.

One of the worst costumes I have had the displeasure of seeing firsthand was the woman who wore her teenage son’s wrestling uniform at a daytime party last weekend.

Earth’s most delicious candy is The Kit Kat. Twix are also in the running. The most vile is black licorice. Blech. That goes for you too, black jelly beans. The only thing you’re good for is making hillbilly teeth on Easter.


Well, thank you, Jacquie. I can’t believe I won out over Zombie Clown.

But, actually, that was Rachel with whom I was Extra Strength Tylenol. Right after the tampering scare in ’82 or so.

No, Nancy and I were fried eggs:

(With a cast on my knee, no less)

Steven was bacon.

And Scott was a long tall drink of orange juice.

I’m not usually much of a Halloween fan, but we had a blast in our ‘hood last night. The 4 houses on our street are all at the end of a dead end, and all the neighbors got together in the street and had a party. Cara and Vere and Ron and Andrea and Keri decorated the street and their houses (they own Halloween decorations).

We had a fire, we got pizzas, we had wine and beer and rum and buckets of candy that we heaped upon the children when the reached us at the end of the street. Many, many of their escort parents were jealous of the big fun we were having. But only one took me up on the offer of a wine-to-go.

Keri and I had a strict “no costume, no candy” policy. Which we typically had to put into effect with teenage boys, out late. The worst costume of the night, though, was a mom with a baby in her arms, and 2 teenage daughters. None of whom had a costume on. The baby didn’t even have a token hat with bunny ears or something. Somehow it felt like they’d crossed the line from trick-or-treating to begging.

Mistah had his usual spooky, double-exposure fun.

Baby Ruths rock. Junior mints are for weenies.


Ooh, I love that spooky double exposure, Ellie.

Some of the best costumes I've ever seen are not Hallween inspired, but donned by runners at the annual Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco. Remember Little Bo Peep, Jacquie? Nice legs! Actually, some of the worse costumes I've seen are during that race as well.

But the question you posed was about Hallween costumes....

I didn't see anything out of the ordinary last night, lots of vampires, witches, and Star Wars characters. But I was looking online yesterday and I have to say that I think this is a funny costume:

And this has to be one of the worst:

Reeses and Almond Joy (sometimes I do feel like a nut) -- yum! Necco wafers -- yuck.


Anonymous said...

Best costume I ever say was a kid dressed as Bill Gates. I don't know why. Worst Halloween candy are those damn Halloween candy kisses and I agree with whoever said Kit Kat for the best candy. Also I think it's just plain evil for people to give out cans of pop or juice boxes or those bags of juice. The friggin' things weigh a ton and no kid can carry them. Who does stuff like this?

martyjoco said...

So... I had a couple of extra evening wines because we were blessed with such a huge bonus warm day that Ellie worked for me so I could keep on painting the rebuilt back porch before it snows and then I just felt like, hey, I deserve this! And Ellie & Bill are here! And here's Rick! And whoa! here are Mike & Beth, and Mike's buying me another glass of wine!!! I do love my life. Stremely lucky. But doomed to become boozily verbose...
Back to Halloween. We live on the busy noisy main street by the hospital; you must take two left turns to reach E&B's cozy quiet cul de sac with the cool neighborhood bonfire booze up. I stayed home, because we get TONS of kids, and I love it. I answered the door until about 8, and then I really had to do my quarterly sales taxes so I could at least get them into the post box at the post office on Oct 31 - not quite postmarked, but close enough... sorry kids, lights out... the rest of the Nestle Crunches are now in a basket at the tavern, and going fast.
The best costume we got all night was a little kid in a kind of pink pinafore with writing on it, which I couldn't quite discern. I asked, "What are you, anyway?" The mom piped up, "He's a Whoopee Cushion!" And sure enough, he was! It was just like the ad in the back page of the comic books, next to the garlic gum & plastic wigs & throw-your-voice kits... very cool. I told him, if I was giving out prizes, you would win. I gave him an extra handful of mini-Crunches. Enough with Power Rangers and "the Scream" masks... this was unique!!
Do you think his parents even told him what a Whoopee Cushion is?

martyjoco said...

Wow, I just looked back at the question, and I didn't answer at all. It's Concha y Toro's fault, sorry.

That year of Toxic Shock Syndrome, Dawn came to The Reducers gig at the El'n'Gee as a box of Rely Tampons. That was very bold and good and funny.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I love it when martyjoco gets her drink on! And for the record, any self-respecting kid knows what a whoopie cushion is!! My zombie clown only got 2nd place for scariest costume, losing to one of those lame-ass store bought scream guys. How hard it is to BUY a scary costume? a-holes.

Ellie, dude? Junior mints? they can be very refreshing! And Beth? Ellie used to lead us in role playing church communion, with neco wafers as the body of Christ. We were very somber about it, I can't believe you allowed that sacrelige, mom!

We had a great halloween, lots of fun in the 'hood with roadies and candy and good friends - oh my!

Anonymous said...

After seeing all the costumes I am a little sad that we don't celebrate here in Oz.

Best chocolate ever is not something that I will write here on your blog. Cause my favourite chocolate has some rather nasty meanings over in the US of A and trust me, you DO NOT want the google searches that come from mentioning my favourite chocolate...

You are welcome.

martyjoco said...

A week or two ago I heard a story on radio about a sort of internet breathalyzer... a skills test game that you have to pass before your own computer lets you log on to the internet, to prevent drunken ramblings or ill-advised emails. Could you three please look into that brilliant invention and install it as a preliminary step to your comments page and save me from myself? Thanks!!

Tami said...

Some thoughts on Halloween's past and present:

Costumes: One year Mary Beth and I dressed as salt and pepper shakers made from pillow cases with felt letters (Mar's pillow case was Rit-dyed black.) Another year we were playing cards which were painstakingly drawn with markers on poster boards. I don't remember ever buying a costume since we could always fall back on the ubiquitous "hobo" outfit if we couldn't come up with anything ...don't see many of those now.

Does anyone invite strangers in for apple-bobbing, donuts and cider like the Taylors did? (We do provide beer and wine in Solo cups to our neighbors.)

Do you inspect your kids' bags for razor blades?

Does anyone give out apples or boxes of raisins anymore? I always hated that.

In Norwalk, if you go out for Devil's Night and get caught, you get arrested for vandalism.

We only had two kids trick-or-treating for Unicef.

We gave out 500 pieces of candy this year which is in line with other years. I was very happy to find witch's eyeball gum and candy fingers to supplement my more ordinary offerings of skittles and blow pops.

A few of our neighbors used to do haunted yards so Pine Hill has been a big draw. People park their vans on side streets as well as along the road and multitudes pile out. It's like a big block party with strangers and friends.

Worst costume definitely goes to those that trick or treat without even a meager attempt at a costume (an old sports uniform, a mask, etc.) and especially the adults who hold out their own bags for candy with no explanation of a "sick kid at home." That was a first this year and we had more than one.

I'm with Jacquie on hating black licorice and all its cousins..Good & Plenty, ouzo, etc. Sugar Daddys are the best with fire balls running a close second. Hard to find both and who doesn't love a candy cigarette with gum that loses its flavor in 2 minutes or those little wax bottles that contain "juice."

Loving your blog!