Tuesday, April 7, 2009

tips for your first meeting with Moki

1. Arrive armed
With a chew toy, that is. She is trained to grab something in her mouth when greeting people, and if nothing is made available she will substitute your most conveniently located appendage.

2. Commit to a full minute for the greeting
If you try to abbreviate this time commitment, you will be relentlessly stalked and likely killed.

3. Get low, or she will get high
I'm sorry about this. I think her self image is that of a sprightly young pup. A young pup she is, but sprightly? Not so much. When she prances up to make contact, she brings her full weight with her, and she's heavy. With claws.

4. Speak the language
She's a talker. Just like our old Porgie (may she rest in eternal peace), Moki makes noise that can be misconstrued as growling, but is really just her way of saying: "ohmygodohmygodohmygoditsYOUyouareHEREandiknowwehavenevermetbutithinkihavealwayslovedyou!"

5. Give it some space
She is a wagger. This in not limited to the tail area. When she's really happy, she actually wags her head. Sometimes she knocks things down, like people. And lamps.

6. Keep the faith
Almost immediately after she comes to terms with the joyous reality of your arrival, she will retire for a celebratory nap. And although she will greet you with much the same level of enthusiasm after any significant separation, like if you go to the bathroom and then COME BACK, I like to say that these reunions are less physically demanding than the first meeting. I like to say this, even though it's a lie. Play along, k?

other helpful tidbits:

If you have been wrongfully lubricated with sunscreen or moisturizer, fear not. Moki will not rest until she has rid your body of the offensive invader.

If you leave food* on the table or counter, she will stealthily steal and eat it. *note: food is a broad category that includes paper, plastic, electronics, broken glass, nuclear waste, etc

She will keep your seat warm when you go to get water, especially if the scent of sunscreen lingers.

She will protect you while you do yardwork

Your shoes are now safe, but I strongly suggest that you keep at least one foot inside of each sock at all times.

If you keep the advice I've offered in mind, your meeting with Moki has the potential to bring more pleasure than pain. And I can only hope that understanding comes with the experience of having once had a puppy who tackled my girl and stole the hat from her very head on a snowy Chicago day.



Me, You, or Ellie said...

Jacquie, you are hilarious. I love this. I love the idea of a celebratory nap. Moki is on to something there....

She's going to be delirious with joy with all the cousins in her midst. Let's hope all hands stay firmly attached to wrists.

Have a great time with those Holt-types.


Anonymous said...

I think I like Moki. Sounds like maybe she is related to our Missy.

The Blue Ridge Gal

Kat said...

She sounds like a sweetie. I bet she and my Elizabeast would have a good time playing with each other at a dog park!

Unknown said...

This is hilarious!

Pickles and Dimes said...

This is awesome! I love that she has the same expression in every photo - hee!

Mary said...

I'm glad to know shoes are safe. I was at a client's recently and his Lab puppy was trying to eat my shoe WHILE MY FOOT WAS IN IT!!!

Anonymous said...

Moki is no match for the holts. We are primed, we are ready & we are warned!!! Did Hubble really tackle clara & steal her hat? Can't wait! Jane

Rita said...

How funny we both went with pets as our blog topics today, and reached the same conclusion--the joy they bring us outweighs any inherent annoying quirks.

mumple said...

We had a lab that would steal your purse--even if you were just walking past our house.

Man, did that woman scream...and my dad laughed for days.

Springer Kneeblood said...

I once knew a dog like that. Ate my eyeglasses. Twice. He was a lovable old pit bull named Buck. And the first puppy he sired was Owens. That was before pit bulls were inbred and crazy.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

There is nothing like a body-wagging dog!