Tuesday, April 7, 2009
tips for your first meeting with Moki
1. Arrive armed
With a chew toy, that is. She is trained to grab something in her mouth when greeting people, and if nothing is made available she will substitute your most conveniently located appendage.
2. Commit to a full minute for the greeting
If you try to abbreviate this time commitment, you will be relentlessly stalked and likely killed.
3. Get low, or she will get high
I'm sorry about this. I think her self image is that of a sprightly young pup. A young pup she is, but sprightly? Not so much. When she prances up to make contact, she brings her full weight with her, and she's heavy. With claws.
4. Speak the language
She's a talker. Just like our old Porgie (may she rest in eternal peace), Moki makes noise that can be misconstrued as growling, but is really just her way of saying: "ohmygodohmygodohmygoditsYOUyouareHEREandiknowwehavenevermetbutithinkihavealwayslovedyou!"
5. Give it some space
She is a wagger. This in not limited to the tail area. When she's really happy, she actually wags her head. Sometimes she knocks things down, like people. And lamps.
6. Keep the faith
Almost immediately after she comes to terms with the joyous reality of your arrival, she will retire for a celebratory nap. And although she will greet you with much the same level of enthusiasm after any significant separation, like if you go to the bathroom and then COME BACK, I like to say that these reunions are less physically demanding than the first meeting. I like to say this, even though it's a lie. Play along, k?
other helpful tidbits:
If you have been wrongfully lubricated with sunscreen or moisturizer, fear not. Moki will not rest until she has rid your body of the offensive invader.
If you leave food* on the table or counter, she will stealthily steal and eat it. *note: food is a broad category that includes paper, plastic, electronics, broken glass, nuclear waste, etc
She will keep your seat warm when you go to get water, especially if the scent of sunscreen lingers.
She will protect you while you do yardwork
Your shoes are now safe, but I strongly suggest that you keep at least one foot inside of each sock at all times.
If you keep the advice I've offered in mind, your meeting with Moki has the potential to bring more pleasure than pain. And I can only hope that understanding comes with the experience of having once had a puppy who tackled my girl and stole the hat from her very head on a snowy Chicago day.