Thursday, December 3, 2009

Just call me Martha

So I’ve discovered that I’m a complete holiday card control freak. I guess I always new it, deep down, but it’s no longer a semi covert feeling I have, a guilty nagging hunch that I might get too anal about sending out my seasonal greetings. It’s now out in the open, exposed – so I figured I might as well admit my compulsion here too.

You see, I love holiday cards. I love making them, sending them, receiving them. They’re fun, and festive, and help create a merry holiday atmosphere.

This being the case, I typically do put time and effort into my holiday cards, not to mention a few dollars. I think they’re worth it.

And this year, of all years, I felt it necessary to send a proper card, as 2009 was a rather eventful year for my family. I wanted to showcase our new familial additions and arrangements, so knew I needed a photo card. And because young Capri is so, um, young, and somewhat hard to capture on film, I decided to hire a professional.

The photographer was great, the girls really liked her, and she took a lot of good shots.

This meant I could not possibly decide on one photo for the card, so therefore had to search long and hard to come up with a card layout that featured just the right amount of photos, in just the right arrangement. I looked at Snapfish and Shutterfly, at Winkflash and Hallmark, Photoworks, York, and more.

I finally settled on a card that fulfilled both my price and design requirements. I then proceeded to spend hours of work time choosing, cropping, and desaturating the chosen pics. Upon completion, during the checkout process, I was even suckered into putting together some photo address labels for the project -- I was really on a roll.

Anxiously, I awaited the cards’ arrival. Of course the dispensable labels arrived first, and were, as I worried they would be, a little excessive. But my wait was not much longer, as the cards arrived later the same day, and ……..tah dah …….. the quality was not what I’d hoped for.

It never is though, is it?

And perhaps they weren’t as holiday-ish as they should be?

But good, they were still good. I was satisfied, and ready to start greeting, and addressing, and mailing.

But I’d forgotten the holiday stamps, so ordered them online this very morning, and will continue to write, and lick, and stick until their arrival, at which time I will stick once more, and deliver them lovingly to a nearby mailbox.

But then something terrible happened, something completely contrary to holiday card etiquette.

My husband began to write out some cards (which, in and of itself, I was somewhat uncomfortable with, because although I had asked him to round up some addresses, I didn’t mean to imply that he would actually be writing the cards!), and then, after I left for work, he proceeded to affix THESE to the envelopes:

Gasp!

It is not the 4th of July, honey. It’s Christmas, and Kwanza, and Hanukkah.

He could not understand my consternation, confusion, and chagrin.

US flag stamps from the coil of 100? No, no, no and NO! I just purchased 80 holiday stamps, of two varieties, specifically for our super special seasonal salaam.

An email reply from him stated, “I'm pretty sure we can still use them after xmas.”

But that’s not the point, dear husband! Not at all.

And while this incident has completely exposed my obsessive nature, I still find it hard to believe that he doesn’t think it matters.

As Martha says, “it’s all in the details.” (Unfortunately, I really don’t know if she says this, but I think she probably does, or should, if she doesn’t).

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

well, dear girl. I think it is magnificent that you take the time and go to the trouble and expense to do this. Too few of us do.
And having a husband who cares enough to write his own cards is a treasure.
Alas, my Christmas greetings departed with my dear Walt.
Can't wait for mine to arrive!
Pat

Anonymous said...

You'll just have to divorce him, that's all.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

A flag stamp? On a Christmas card??? Puh-lease! That will never do. I even choose from among the USPS's choices any given year -- last year the non-religious ones were quilts, I think? -- so the recipient gets the most appropriate one. Sorry if anyone got the teddy bear last year. I really hated that teddy bear quilt stamp.

Anyway, I love this, Beth, because I feel the same way. Well, Bill obsesses about the card, then I obsess about all the stuff that comes after.

And, wait. Is it time to do this already?

Ellie

Anonymous said...

You girls should do a three way on any very strange, very odd, hangups you have. Actually, make that a two way, since Beth has already revealed hers.. It's just a stamp!! Poor, poor, husband.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh dear Tommy, my treasure, nice try, but you outed your anonymous self by using the exact same, "it's just a stamp" phrase as yesterday :-)

And for the record, I've decided against divorce.

beth

Me, You, or Ellie said...

That is hilarious, Beth. I totally feel your pain, I would have reacted the same way about the stamps. The only role my husband plays in the annual Christmas card mailing is to seal the envelopes. We send about 100 each year (we're very popular), so I consider the envelope licking an unfathomable task.

My style with preparing cards is to think about it during the wee hours of the night, find and play with photos that I'm not certain are good enough, tell myself that I'll take better ones, then procrastinate until approximately Christmas Eve before paying extra to have those so-so photos made into fast cards.

It all seems so environmentally unfriendly this year, I can't help thinking that I could create a really cool .pdf that I could send electronically without spending a dime. But I fear the peoples would revolt. Peoples? What say you?

Jacquie

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I would not revolt. I feel the same guilt about the environment, and have had the same thought as you; but I fear, for me, holiday cards are like paper towels, just not something I'm willing to give up quite yet.

However, the .pdf you send out this year may just change my wee little mind :-)

beth

haven't even started the cards yet said...

What the hell was he thinking?!?
(if you're reading this T...I still adore you)
I SO understand and I will be sure to rip off the stamp as soon the card arrives and we can pretend this never happened :)

Me, You, or Ellie said...

*I* will revolt. Christmas cards -- especially with photos -- are the exactly only thing I like about Christmas, and I can't bear the thought of NOT receiving them, especially from my sisters, showing off my gorge-ass Ns and Ns. I've always loved them, but I came to love them even more dearly during our years on the road, when it was often the only time during the year we'd be in touch with many of our peeps.

Please. Do not stop. My sanity and my happiness depend on it.

Thank you.
Ellie

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I hear you Ellie. Loud and Clear. Prepare yourself now for a .pdf in 2010. The times? They are a-changing.

Can't wait to get card from you two! I'm inspired to order up my so-so photo cards tomorrow, and to use my Simpsons stamps to mail them!

j

Kathi D said...

Oh, for a husband who will WRITE THE CARDS!!!!!

Who am I kidding? I usually order custom stamps with the dogs' photo on them. Pffft. I need to be shot.

Johanna said...

This is hilarious!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Beth, we got it yesterday. It's gorgeous!!!

Ellie