Monday, January 7, 2019


Years and years ago during our Westy years, somebody said something like "words cannot express how I feel about" . . . blah blah blah.

Mistah and I, all full of youth and knowledge and blithe wisdom, disagreed. "But all we have are words. If words can't express how you feel, then what else do we have?"

It was good sentiment; we were right, partly. But now I get it.

Words help -- they do -- they are all we have.

But yeah. They're not enough.

Because our Young James' death hits like a steamroller every day.

And I am only his lowly "Fly away Aunt Ellie" auntie. I'm just a small piece of the giant pie of people his life and death have affected.

Which is a bizarre metaphor, but the kid did famously love pie.

But. Sometimes, the universe helps takes care of things. When one has no words -- even though that is all we have -- sometimes, the universe helps out.

Sometimes, like it did yesterday, the Universe does this:

And sometimes, like it did on New Years Day, the Universe does this:

So, yes. Words aren't always enough. But beauty and magnificence help.


Kristin said...

You my friend, have an amazing heart, and it shows in everyone that meets you, I am so blessed to call you my friend, and I am quite positive that those who are "truly" family feel the same. Such a wonderful way to remember someone that you obviously love so deeply. xoxoxo

unmitigated me said...

Beauty helps. So does blogging. We lost our best friend when we were 22 and he was 25. All I wanted was to talk about it, but people just avoided the subject as too painful, and thought we should just get over it. Your whole family is in my thoughts these days. May you always find a willing ear.

Maria Bareiss said...

So much love for you, Ellie.

Lisa S said...

I hope your trip to San Diego helps, too. They have an abundance of both words and beauty there, too. And family. Lots of family. xo