Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Customer Appreciation Day

Once upon a time, about, oh, 12 days ago, my friend Johnny Slips heard I was assuming Tavern duties while our esteemed leaders were going away on vacation. "I'm opening up every day, Johnny Slips, for 12 days" I said. "Hey, maybe I'll come see you every day, then. Maybe I'll go 12 for 12."

The idea spread like wildfire.

You think it's easy? Coming in to the Tavern every day for 12 days in a row? When you have to work, or drive your wife to the airport, or pick up your kids, or just bask on your sunny deck? Well, let me tell you, it is not easy, but did that stop my customers? No, it did not.

Because my customers are a dogged, tenacious, determined group.

Do these look like people who would let things like work and wives and kids and sunny days stop them from coming into the Tavern to see me every day?

Of course not.

I kept a strict attendance tally, which had odds for who would go 12-for-12, but it mysteriously disappeared after Day 10.

I smell a rat.

The new tally is not nearly as interesting. First of all, it's got no odds. Second of all, it's all new and fresh and has no 10-day-old spilled-beer bar patina. Third of all, well, I'm just mad. That was a piece of history, people.

Anyway. The stars, you ask? You get a star if you bring me snacks. Simple as that. The stars represent, from top to bottom:
  • a tuna sandwich -- update: it was a whole tuna sandwich
  • half a cubano, still warm
  • tomato soup to die for
  • half a beef and rice burrito
  • cookies
  • three buckets of clam fritters*

*Esh brought the clam fritters. And sausage pizza. His star got lost on its way to the new list. He's not 11-for-11, though. Johnny Slips said, "Give him all the stars he wants; he's an also-ran."

Anyway. I've been eating like a king all week. These are good customers.

Naturally, I wanted to reward my good customers for their loyal support and patronage, and for their snacks. To give back just a little, after receiving so much.

That's right. Yesterday was Customer Appreciation Day.

We had cheese and crackers and olives and bread . . .

. . . we had carrots and hummus and celery and goldfish . . .

Everybody ate like kings yesterday.

Finally I had to pass the bar over to Paulie B . . .

. . . and join my good customers on the other side of the bar . . .

. . . which wasn't so bad . . .

. . . not bad at all.

In the meantime, though, there's this crazy volcano in Iceland that's screwing with the world. Maybe you've heard?

And it looks like my assumed Tavern duties will continue for a while longer . . .

But I have deep and profound faith in my customers. They're good customers, after all. Work? Kids? Sunny deck? Eyjafjallajokull? As if any of that could stop them.

Tomorrow? Cafe Ellie, Day 13. You in?


Pickles and Dimes said...

This is so fun! Wish I could be a regular at the bar. :)

Hsin-Yi said...

I knew Owen would do it. It helps that he works and lives within walking distance though.

I tried to stop by one day, but got downtown too early and couldn't hold out. There was no way I was going to make all 12 though. Maybe next year =)

needs a bar challenge (over 40) in PA said...

You ate Charlie?! I'm telling your sister's peeps :)

That volcano sure is screwing with alot of people. The best quote I read about it was this
"The iceland economy, that died in 2008, stipulated in its last wishes that its ashes be spread over europe"
shared by a high school friend who is stranded in Ireland with work, not vacation, so he wants to get back to his family.

If I lived closer I would have been 13-13...even on a sunny day!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

LOL, PA - I was already composing an irrate comment in my head to defend poor Charlie and his peeps.

I love this Dutch competition, you guys are a freaking crack up.

That volcano is a total ash-hole.



Anonymous said...

I want to be a regular at a bar along with guys named Johnny Slips and Pickles and Dimes and such delightful customer appreciation days

Logical Libby said...

I want to come to your bar. I would even bring Oreos.

Captain Dumbass said...

I'm in! Pregnant wifey was just in drooling over your food. Hey, what's on the tshirts above the bar? I love tshirts from exotic locals.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Paulie B looks a bit scared of you, Ellen! But perhpas he's overwhelmed by how many good snack-bringing customers you have. Cookies and clams!

This is something I should not brag about, probably, but I was awarded "best bar attendence" while on Semester at Sea; a whole semester, and I never missed even one happy hour. Ever. No doubt I would have crushed your 12 day challange.

Why is it that you don't live closer??


JA in ONT said...

Thanks Ellie. I now feel like I have been to your bar. I know I would have made the list or at least would have been there to conduct regular audits....Oh Lord, when will tax season end...

Me, You, or Ellie said...

They say "Dutch Tavern" Captain. Email me your addy and I'll send you one.


Lisa S said...

"Cafe Ellie"! WWPS?!? (Besides "thank you for keeping the Tavern open", of course ;-)

Springer Kneeblood said...

I MUST get to the Dutch Tavern. I need one of those shirts, too, but as a matter of principle I cannot wear one without personally visiting. Hold a XXL shirt back for me, will you Ellie?