Thursday, October 6, 2011

ghoul powah

My boy announced that this year, he is too old to trick or treat. I concur. The predicament, of course, is that he still wants candy. His plan is to wear a ski mask and be a…. skier? Whatevs. He asked me this morning when we could go to the Halloween store. You’re never too old to decorate your yard with bloody dismembered body parts, I suppose. The more gruesome it is, the more he loves it.

From a friend’s house last weekend, he texted me this photo:

It's grainy, and on my phone I couldn't really see the obvious detail of his apparent amputation. I just assumed that he had cut his knee playing laser tag, and because it would be completely in character for him to react by sending me a photo before seeking first aid, I replied: "what happened?" He answered: "hahahahahaha", then I took a closer look. eye roll

He's become interested in horror movies! He recently watched "The Grudge." Although the commercials for that movie made me weak with terror, this isn't the kind of thing I'm going to get hung up on restricting. I think I was a little older when I started watching Jason and the babysitter movies (shudder), but not much, and he's a boy, and he's clearly demented, so I'll give him some space on this one. I'm not watching them with him, though. I'm still scarred from the Blair Witch.

My girl, on the other hand, is scared of everything. She is of the age when it seems like a really good idea to whisper about ghosts and escaped mental patients and bloody mary in the safe darkness of a sleepover with girlfriends, but then at home she wants an armed guard to escort her into the bathroom. Someone told her about the commercial for a movie in which some girls are doing the bloody mary thing in the bathroom, then they all giggle and run out of the room, but the viewer catches a glimpse of a dark haired shadow lurking behind the closed door they've just run through. I've seen this commercial. It's fucking scary. Thankfully, my girl trusts me enough to comply when I screech "CLOSE YOUR EYES" if something unsavory appears on the tv screen, like bloody mary or jersey shore or sex.

Anyway, last weekend during our girl powah days, she and I stopped in at Lowe's, because nothing says girl powah like shopping for household appliances. When we entered, we were greeted by these two:

Cute, right? I rushed right over and gave the white one a hug, because I gotta be me, and then we went about our business.

I usually try to never take my kids into any retail establishment with me, because going about their business always includes a request to purchase something, and they never have any money. I'm not big on buying dumb stuff for my kids without a need or a reason, so in this case when my girl asked me to buy her some tic tacs, I had to think of a reason or a way that she could earn it.

"Sure, honey..." I said.

"I'll buy you those tic tacs." 
She eyed me suspiciously. She knows me too well.

"If you hug the ghoul."

That's as close as she got. Do you think she earned the tic tacs?


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Those last few photos are priceless. Well, so is the amputation shot. Your poor boy.......

And for the love of pete's sake, buy the girl some tic tacs! Nobody likes a kid who doesn't have minty-fresh breath.

Good one, Jacquie. Who knew you had so many ghoul anecdotes?


Me, You, or Ellie said...

By god, yes, yes, she deserves them!! It is so funny that you posted photos of those ghouls from Lowes. I took little mis C into Lowes with me last month for something or other and those things scared the shit out of her. If she could have, she would have crawled right back into the womb! She was freaking the whole time we were in the store, and still talks about the sca-wee guys in the store. She would have been so concerned with your girl's almost-hug.

Those photo from your boy? No words. How funny is that?!?

love the post!