Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Dear neti pot, you terrify me

Last week I received the list of things that I am to bring to my yoga teacher training, which starts this coming Sunday. Being the rule follower that I am, I have been scurrying around to secure said items.

There were a number of things that I didn't own, so instead of buying everything for a 10-day training, I sent out an email to friends requesting random things I was hoping to borrow.

I was amazed at how many people had a neti pot to lend. Really? A neti pot?

But they are so totally and completely and utterly scary?! Like owning your own personal water boarding contraption.

Truth be told, most people who had a neti pot were more than happy to lend it out. Permanently.

I have never used a neti pot, even though I know their usage dates back thousands of years. I didn't ever plan to use a neti pot, either. Even if suffering from a terrible sinus infection.

Okay, well maybe then. But only then.

I am currently not suffering from a terrible sinus infection.

I am not looking forward to this new experience. I mean, it's not just fear of drowning, this shit can kill you. Kill you dead, I tell you. (Oh wait, drowning can do that too.) But seriously, two people in Louisiana died in 2011 after using neti pots with fresh water. They both contracted primary amebic meningoencephalitis, which killed them dead.

We may think of Louisiana as a backwater, and in this case, perhaps for good reason, literally. But I gotta tell you that my mind jumps right to: Well, I know I can't drink the water in Bali, so why the hell are we even considering putting it up our noses??

Yes, I bet we'll do it with bottled water. But still.......

I figure I'll take at least one neti pot with me, along with mass copies of that scary Oxford Journal article on primary amebic meningoencephalitis, and the accompanying CDC and FDA warnings, just to make sure we're all on the same page regarding the possible side effects of kill you dead.

But which death trap do I take?

The petite kit that Jacquie gave to me? With all the petite saline packages inside?
Lilli's giving it the nod.
The pretty green one?
Smells okay...
The Ancient Secrets new-and-improved-designed nasal cleansing pot?
See it back there?

I'm at a loss. Each of them is terrifying in their own way. Wait, no actually, in the same way. In the kill you dead sort of way.


Pat said...

Just say no???
Love, Mom

Me, You, or Ellie said...

It was nice knowing you before that wretched thing killed you dead. Please don't return mine. I bought it for my boy when he had recurring sinus infections, and volunteered to self administer in front of both kids to demonstrate the fact that it was no biggee. I think it's safe to say that after witnessing the sputtering, gagging, cursing, waterboarding spectacle that I presented, my family members would rather die of the sinus infection.

I'd take the green one though, maybe pretty is less deadly.



Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh, pretty is always less deadly.

Okay, so you have to bring it. But that doesn't mean you have to use it.

I mean, of course you should use it, maybe as a flower vase. Bali has *such* lovely flowers.

Or a candy dish.

Or a hotel key holder.

Or to pour hot water over your head in the tub.

Or, wait, I got it! As an arak holder!

Perfect. Done.