Friday, September 12, 2008

Friday Hodgpodge, aka lazy bullshit post

So, it’s Friday and this week has taken a toll on my capacity to string together coherent thoughts. In the hopes that my diminished attention span is a worldwide second-week-of-september phenomenon, I’m just going to go ahead and purge my current idea list up here with embarrassingly little expansion, and let’s all just count down the minutes until happy hour, shall we?

1. Several years ago, my husband’s whole family came for Thanksgiving and I didn’t have enough wine glasses so I went to Ikea and bought a shitload. They are perfectly lovely, but they wont die. Now I really, really want to go stemless but I can’t justify the purchase when I still have 12 of those mo-fos in my cupboard. Compounding the issue is the fact that I compulsively steal pint glasses emblazoned with logos of local sports teams, and they fill up the next shelf down. Why don’t my glasses ever break? I might have to start “dropping” them on the sly.


2. In the car yesterday, my girl was pontificating about the difference between the peso and the dollar. My boy contributed to the conversation by saying: “I miss that gyro sandwich.” Huh? He explained that the talk of pesos had reminded him of his friend’s recent trip to Ireland and the Euro he had brought home for my boy. Euro.. gyro.


3. This summer, my husband took to frequenting hotel pools with our children. Although I did not involve myself in this questionable practice, I wound up having to answer for it. I took the kids for eye exams one day, and when the doctor asked them what they’d been up to all summer, they forgot about the beach, Connecticut, the water park, and the new damned puppy. They told the man that they had “mostly just sneaked into hotel pools.”


4. Our puppy weighs just over 30 pounds now, and can reach her paws up to the kitchen counter. She’ll clean your plate if you leave it unattended at the table. We found all of her bully sticks buried in a planter.


A better blogger would surely put the brown back into her eyeballs


5. Also last weekend, on a gorgeously sunny Saturday afternoon, someone made me go ice skating. It was so much more fun than I expected! I wish I had a photo of my girl with her pink jeans and white hoodie and tan face and indignant scowl.

6. We went to the Brazil days festival last weekend. Brazilians have more fun.


7. My kids want to know why there are so many idiots on the road whenever I’m driving.

8. Remember my rant about how the stupid San Diego police cruisers all had half backwards flag stickers? Mary got to the bottom of it:


In application...flags are displayed on moving vehicles with the blue-star field always displayed towards the front of the vehicle. In this way, the flag appears to be blowing in the wind as the vehicle travels forward (flags are always attached to their flag poles on the blue field side). If the flag were not reversed on the right hand side of the vehicle, the vehicle might appear to be moving backwards (or "retreating").

So, um, nevermind.

9. My girl said that she thinks I’m really cute. She said that I would be cute even if I lost my front teeth. Give mommy the baseball bat, honey.

10. Guess there’s only nine.

Anyone have any fun weekend plans?

7 comments:

Heinous said...

You need to have a 'greek drinking party' so you have an excuse to smash them in the fireplace after you finish a drink.

That's too damn funny about the pools.

Ellie said...

Jacaquie! How funny! Okay, I'll try not to comment on every point.

1. Come on over to our house. Our ceramic tile floor is a glass-breaking machine.

2. Your son is a boy after his own mother's heart. "I miss that gyro"? I love that he misses his luncheon.

3. It may be a questionable practice, but sneaking into hotel pools with their dad? Your kids will be telling their kids about that one day. And really, why shouldn't they, the poor deprived things? The most beautiful beaches on the Pacific Ocean are ten whole miles away.

4. Mokie is gigantic. Aye-yah-yie.

8. I was right. About the blowing in the wind flag decals. At least on the driver's side. On the passenger's side? They're on their own...

NucMEd is Hot said...

I have no plans

Your kida are adorable

I like the hotel pool idea, expect my kida LIKE the town pool

The only hotel pool not better than our town pool is the Great Wolf Lodge.

Have a great weekend!

"Loose" the glasses. Like pack them away and go get what you want!

Cutie Judy said...

I have MANY glasses from local pubs and restaurants. Imagine my embarrassment when having a Football party last year and inviting one of the owners from one of the pubs and he goes to grab a glass out of my cabinet and grabs one of his own glasses!!!!

He did eventually laugh about it, but he gave me a very strange look!!!

Kathi D said...

Wine glasses make excellent targets for BB gun practice.

Also, my mother used to drive me to school every day with my 2-year-0ld nephew in the back seat. One of his first words was "JACKASS!!!"

Oh, we were all so proud. Especially my Baptist road rage mother.

Misplaced Country Girl said...

These made me laugh out loud. You know glasses break really well if you accidently throw them against the wall. Just an idea!

Beth said...

Jacquie, you absolutely still would be cute if you had no front teeth! (Although corn on the cob would be problamatic.)

And I agree, Brazilians do have more fun.