Thursday, June 19, 2014


It feels totally uninspired for me to write about how addicted I am to the show that everyone else was addicted to last year. I read Orange is the New Black, and thought it really wasn’t very good.  I was expecting high intensity prison drama, but got entitled whiny middle school angst. Sure, there was plenty of sex and drugs and fighting and bad language, and it held my attention long enough to finish, but I kept thinking that something really big was about to happen then I got to the last page and… meh. When the show came out,  I didn’t care about missing it because I wasn’t subscribing to Netflix at the time.  I heard that it was good, and I am a fan of Jenji Kohan so if it had been on Showtime I know I would have watched it. But it came, and it went, and who cared.

When the season 2 hoopla began, I couldn’t help but notice that people I like whose opinions I trust were getting excited. People I’m related to, even! It still wasn’t enough to get me subscribed, but I was admittedly more intrigued.  Then one day I tore up my playloom and ended up with a stupid gnarled mess of cords that pissed me off. Why do I have so many wires when the world is so quickly becoming a wireless place? I called to ask Da Man (I still can't find that post about being shy of the guy).

A couple of hours later, I broke up with Da Man. I don’t need no stinkin wires, Man. I ordered up a whole uverse of technology for a lower price and with nicer Mans.

And I subscribed to Netflix.

And then, timed nicely with the season finales of all my shows and the onset of all-sports-mania early summer, I popped in some ear buds and decided to see what all the fuss was about.

My friend Janet accused me of falling for a trend because everyone was talking about OITNB so I started watching it. She gave me a pass though, since I read the book. Thanks Janet!

My sisters were talking about it in a recent email conversation, Ellie said when she opens her laptop she says: "I'm going back to jail."

Jane apologized for addressing all of us as Bitch. I get that. It's a term of endearment, or at the very least a simple greeting. It's the new "Hey buddy!"My favorite line from a recently viewed episode was Taystee saying: "Don't be a bitch ass bitch." That's going to be my new catchphrase.

My family is not accustomed to me being the one deaf to all conversation. I always say I'm just going to watch one episode, but there have been more than a few occasions when I said as much and then looked up hours later to find that everyone had gone off to bed. Oops.  Bill keeps calling it Cellblock H, I need to look that up because I have no clue what he's talking about. He cracks himself up.

The cool thing about being immersed in a trend is that everyone gets it. The other day at the gym I mentioned to another woman that I was afraid I'd get shanked in the shower, and she didn't even flinch before asking how far in to season two I was.

I'm about halfway.

Now please excuse me while I go back to prison.


Me, You, or Ellie said...


Believe it or don't, I just, finally started Season 2 last night. I was putting it off so I didn't start watching, watch every episode, then be finished. Story of everybody's life.

But wait, also coincidentally, I saw these two links on FB this morning: the books the prisoners in Cellblock H (I don't know what that means either, but I love it when Mr. Can cracks himself up) are reading throughout the season:

Pretty cool.

Great post, Jacqueline!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to prison.


Beth said...

I still don't watch it. Am I hopelessly non trendy, I guess.

Although Cellblock H does sound vaguely familiar.....


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Yeah, you have to be really trendy to watch it. Like Ellie and me.


Waiting for my Jail time in Central PA said...

I don't want it to end before the summer ends so I am putting off my Season 2 start.
It's a great show and I think you need to pour on a little peer pressure so Beth won't be so out of the loop!

jacquie said...

Those buzzfeed links are brilliant, El!

Jane Corey Holt said...

so. freaking. great. I finished season two last weekend and thought it was even better than season one. Super sad to have it over but relieved to have my life back. Except Corey is halfway through season two so I keep going down to fold laundry late at night and then.....