Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Frousins

“If she lived here,” my girl speculated, “we’d totally be BFFs.”

They would, I’m certain of it. Those two girls are like peas in a pod. Kindred spirits, her mom and I agreed.  Aside from the nearly identical bodies and sensibility, these girls just clicked the first moment they met almost two years ago in Arizona



They’ve only seen each other once since then, a very brief hello after Dad’s funeral just as my girl was being released to go and swim away her tears. That wasn’t a great visit. But last weekend sure was!


There’s something special about cousins, be it first, or once removed or, in this case, second. Her mom and I are two of sixty six first cousins on the Flatley side. My mom and Sheila’s dad are two of the 13 siblings who grew up in the infamous one bathroom house in Brookline, Mass.

When Sheila and I were kids, most of those thirteen still lived in Massachusetts, although a few had strayed to Buffalo, Long Island, New Hampshire, and most notably, CONNECTICUT. We were about 3 hours away from the hub of Brookline when Grammy still lived there; close enough to gather for the big events, but too far for the day to day contact that a BFF would require. 

When the families got together, for Thanksgiving or a reunion or wedding, we cousins automatically broke off into clusters of like-minded cohorts centered loosely around age and gender.   Much like my girl and Sheila’s clicked right into place, so did we cousins. I can’t remember any of that awkward shyness that you’d get on the first day back to school or summer break, we always just picked up right where we had left off. It was like falling into step with a rhythm that had kept its momentum no matter how much time had been spent apart. 

While these girls of ours have email to keep in touch, Sheila and I reminisced this weekend about how we always tried to write each other letters, but neither of us could ever aspire to the greatness of our cousin Kathy’s correspondence skills. She is still the master of the handwritten card, that one. 

There was a long period of time when I fell out of touch with my cousins. I moved south and then west (YES, I am the smart one); I was broke for a long time and thus unable to get back east for any of the weddings where I actually would have been able to (legally) enjoy the open bars.  

Through the magic of Facebook, many of the 66 first cousins are now back in touch, along with some of our spouses, children, and parents.  Although our plans for a reunion were tragically thwarted this past summer, many of the Flatleys turned up for Dad’s wake and/or funeral. It was heartbreaking and surreal to see their faces again in those dark days; everyone had strangely morphed into a resemblance of how our parents used to look, while the next generation ran around with those familiar Flatley freckles and eyes.
 
Getting my family together with Sheila and hers this weekend brought back so many great memories. We fell right into step, just like our girls did, just like we used to do when we ran down to play in the Pomers’ basement after Thanksgiving dinner each year.  

I’ve got a feeling we’ll be pointing our Westy toward Arizona before too long….

  


 

 
ps: don't worry boys, you'll be in the next post when I tell everyone all about the secret beach, revisited

15 comments:

Frousin love in PA said...

Cousins really are the BEST!
66 is a bit excessive, but I would expect no less from you Corey girls.

I feel bad that my youngest only gets to see her frousin but once a year when we travel to Florida...I should get her writing, huh?!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh how I love the frousin love. I couldn't get enough of my frousin visits way back then -- we'd get some summertime love, too, when the Pomers came for family reunions and stay at that motel with the pool, which they quickly filled.

I must brag, however, that Mary Pomer and I were excellent letter correspondents. Just call us Lizzie and Jane Bennett.

I love this, Jacquie, and that close-up of the 2 little Flatley descendants is absolutely priceless.

Ellie

Meg Butler said...

I love this!!! It makes me so happy to see so many of the next generation becoming friends too. By the by, I believe I may have coined the term "frousins" in our family, hahaha - Kristen Pomer and I now basically only call each other by that term!

Sidenote, Ellie: LOVED the P&P reference in your comment, hahaha!

Julie said...

oh my God. I love this SO much!!!But truly, who's going to love this more than Mykle?

love

Mom C said...

I love this so much Jacquie _ I'm as happy about you and Sheila re-connecting, as the two second cousins, altho they couldn't be cuter.... love Mom

MB said...

What adorable freckled BFFs! Makes me nostalgic for the good times with all my frousins over the years!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

The photo of the frousin's kicking back on the sand? Priceless, as are all those freckels. And yes, yes, identical bodies. Too cute!

xo,
Beth

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Sigh. freckles, frousins, and actually they are not, right? They're sousins?

xo,
b

Karen Ketchup said...

"When Sheila and I were kids, most of those thirteen still lived in Massachusetts, although a few had strayed to Buffalo, Long Island, New Hampshire, and most notably, CONNECTICUT."

And second most notably, CALIFORNIA! We missed out on most of the frousin fun, but hit some good BBQs and a couple Osgood Hill moments. It was tough being away, but we still felt the love. My pen pal frousins were Jimmy Pomer and Peter Mac. I used to sit at my typewriter and muse away, often using the red ink setting and lots of CAPS...

Thanks for the reflection, Jacq. Loved it. Your baby girls are beauteous. Daughters and sisters -what's that like? :)

SheilaFlatleyRubio said...

Awhh! This is wonderful! I love how you used the photo from 2 years ago as a starting point. It was amazing to watch that connection begin and wonderful to know it continues.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Karen, you only have brothers and sons, which I guess explains why you only wrote letters to your boy cousins???

Beth, frousins is, I believe, a contraction of "friends" and "cousins." We'll have to confirm with Meghan Butler. I guess second-cousin-friends could be sfrousins? A bit awkward, though, I think.

Ellie

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Ah, my bad.

Sadly I have no frousins or sfrousins. But my kids now have step-frousins, which is pretty cool.

beth

Mykle said...

Jules hit it right....I'm sure no one loved it more than me! I was reading it at work and almost cried (again...how 'Flatley' is that?!?). Had to wait till after work to reply.

JaneCoreyHolt said...

LOVE this - every word and picture of the blog and all the comments. I love all the six degrees of reconnection.xoxo

Anonymous said...

can you get some close up pictures of clara and mia's arms bent halfway up? My 9 year old daughter Cierra wants to know what an arm crease is and i would like to come back to this blog so I can show her.