Friday, April 29, 2011

the tao of pixar

Toy Story 3 is being broadcast every five seconds, and I can’t stop watching it. The afternoon that I took my kids to see that in the theater is forever ingrained in my memory. It was one of those weird, drifting days after dad died, after everyone had gone home and mom was back at work and trying halfheartedly to throw me out. It was about 900 degrees out with 102% humidity, and we slipped into the cool theater for a little respite.

The movie was adorable, all the nuance of Pixar and nostalgia of toys gone by, and there was the bonus of daycare humor: “daycare is a sad, lonely place for washed up toys that have no homes” and the unexpected treat of college-bound Andy, so cute in an entirely inappropriate Mary Kay Letourneau sort of way.

That day at the movie theater, I wept and wept and wept and wept. It had been a rough few weeks, I had grown fairly adept at just carrying on while tears streamed down my cheeks, and I always had tissues. But at the end I was totally doing Oprah’s ugly cry.

It was the movie, the moment, the life.

And now when I watch this movie, I feel so……deeply. I just feel, these intense waves of emotion over whatever’s going on around me. I find it cathartic. Therapy by Pixar.

Have I mentioned that my kids have been out of school since April Fucking First? I love them. I looooooove them. But oh sweet little 8 pound 7 ounce baby Jesus, enough. Enough! We’re so fortunate that I have the kind of job where they can come to work with me and enjoy it, and we’ve thrown in enough days off and mini adventures to make the month special, but it’s just a lot. I can’t quite work and I can’t quite parent, I’m just stumbling around entertaining and/or yelling at and/or feeding and/or negotiating with my offspring and my employees. Enough. They go back on Monday!

We are in a horrible pet predicament. Taco the hamster is unwell. He’s suddenly got a huge tumor in his chest, right between his front paws. He’s kind of shaky and squinty and he is drinking tons of water, not running on his wheel. Every morning, I think he’s a goner, and every night, he rallies and ambles over to say hello with a little twinkle in his somehow cute albeit distinctly rodent eye. He’s eating, enjoying the treats we’re doling out in the hope fear that each meal will be his last. I am not ashamed to admit that I hope he dies. He’s sick, he’s a hamster, and if nature doesn’t take its course I’m going to have no choice but to employ one of the very helpful tips I received via facebook for how to make like Kevorkian and help the poor bastard cross the rainbow bridge. The kids are understandably upset, Taco is a nice guy, he’s never given us any trouble other than an occasionally chucked poo pellet when his cage cleaning has been neglected. My boy is more accepting of the inevitable, but he is way too optimistic about how long Taco might stick it out. My girl is inconsolable. Do NOT mention it, or she will weep, and seethe. I distract her with frequent viewings of Toy Story 3. 

Shit, now we’re both going to be basket cases whenever we see this movie.     


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Aw, poor Taco. With the little twinkle in his somehow cute albeit distinctly rodent eye. I'm scared of hamsters, myself. But I still do wish him luck and godspeed on the poor bastard's journey across the rainbow bridge.

And I hear that Toy Story 3 is a sobfest, although I've never seen it. And no disprespect, but the thought of you and your girl watching together, sobbing in synch, is just kind of adorable.


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Love this post, J. It's genius. Love how you bring it all together at the end, Pixar, last summer's realities, the never-ending spring break, and Taco's imminent demise. Bravo.

Regarding Taco and the rainbow bridge, I had mice when I was a kid and both of them also developed those sad not-so-little tumors. Do you think they sell us the rodents castoff from scientific labs? I've always secretly thought so.

And girlfriend? I can't believe your peeps are still out of school. Spring break is but a distant memory for us... But, Monday is only 3 days away.


MB said...

Poor Taco. I'm with Beth -- I love how you tied everything together so nicely, Littlest.
I must say, though, I have never seen a Toy Story movie, and I doubt I ever will...

blog was rejecting my posts in PA said...

We took our 15 yr old first born to Toy Story 1 when he was maybe 6 weeks old and he slept through the whole thing.
Toy Story 2 had us in the theater with a 4 yr old and 2 yr old who stayed awake and loved it as much as we did.
Toy Story 3 was with all 3 kids and
2 choked up parents, neither one of us dealing with the recent loss of a parent. How did time fly so fast that Andy could be going to college and my first born could be driving a car soon?! *sniff*
And to tie into Taco...please tell me what advice you have to help beloved pets get over the rainbow..we need to help our 18 yr old cat, Tigger, make that journey. His skinny body with matted fur, no hearing, bowel trouble self just won't let go. (and not all family members are on the same page about the mercy of "helping" him) Who knew that finally giving him the wet food would inspire him to hang on?!?
Great post...thanks for sharing!
And a month long Spring Break?! I think that's more like a hiatus.