Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Wilton Winrow

I was waffling about what to blog about this morning. Then I checked my inbox and read this comment from good ol' Wilton Winrow in response to a post that discussed the fact that I needed a root canal.

Dental procedures can really be costly, but most of it turned out to be very satisfying! And it can be tiresome sometimes. Your body feels very heavy, and you can hardly walk through the clinic doors. But a short time of sacrifice will lead to a long time of pleasure! So don't be mad, and just think of the brighter side.

Okay, who the hell is Wilton Winrow, and what the fuck is he talking about? Very satisfying? A long time of pleasure? Wilton, I think you might be some kind of twisted pain junkie. Do you perhaps think being whipped is exciting? Or find the crucifixion alluring?

Either that, my friend, or you're a dentist, endodontist, orthodontist, or oral surgeon.

Either way, you've got me back to blogging about my teeth.

But what neither you or Wilton know is that when I walked through the clinic doors to get my root canal a week ago today, I got the tiresome news that I needn't worry about drilling trough that brand new partial crown and having it refilled, at least not yet, because the xrays and clinical tests showed that more pain was actually coming from the tooth next to it.

I'm telling you, at this point, I found it very, very hard to think of the brighter side. Yes, it's true I might not need to have my new partial crown blasted apart then re-patched, but now I would need a full crown on this other tooth!

I'm fairly certian a new full crown will cost more than a partial patch-up, don't you agree?

So as I'm sitting there, my tooth still aching from the "cold test" the guy did on both teeth (ever have one of these? Holy shit! Wilton, you would eat it up. The pain is exquisite. They put what feels like dry ice right on your poor tender tooth, the one with root problems, so that you feel the icy pain right down to those inflamed nerves. Then they see how long it takes to go away! It could seriously be a military torture tactic if not used already), adding up the expense in my head, when he tells me that there is a chance that he won't be able to finish the root canal in one visit.

Yes, you can probably see what's coming. I was one of the lucky ones who got to walk my very heavy body through the clinic doors a second time.

But, on the brighter side, there was no additional cost for the second visit.

That second visit was yesterday, so my short time of sacrifice is now over. At least until I go in to get the temporary crown, which will no doubt aslo really be costly.

But I'm not mad. Nope, I'm just eagerly awaiting my long time of pleasure.


cringing in PA said... really have an uncanny way of making my mouth hurt, as well as reminding me why my drug-free childbirth was a pleasure to experience!

Like I said to you on the phone..I'd give birth, vaginally and without drugs, to breech twins before I'd volunteer for another root canal and crown!


Pat said...

poor baby!
As a mother, I feel your pain.
Love, Mom

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Beth, you're hilarious. That comment baffled me when I saw it in my inbox yesterday -- but I am getting such a long time of pleasure in your deconstruction of it.

And dude, I'm so sorry about your toofus issues. Really. There is nothing I can imagine worse than what you're going through. Except maybe Central PA's birth fantasy there. Yikes!

Good luck. Keep us posted, and love to ol' Wilton Winrow.


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh Beth, it's just so horrific! WTF???

I'm sorry, girlfriend. I volunteer to help you numb your pain and ease your mind. This weekend. With margaritas. At the pool.



Mom C said...

Hope you're feeling better, Beth. love Mom c

unmitigated me said...

Wilton is full of shit. I had a root canal about three weeks ago, and still need to go put out wheelbarrows of money from the LAST one I had a year ago!