Saturday, June 7, 2008

Weekend 3-Way

In anticipation, and in celebration, of today’s 140th running of The Belmont Stakes, and Big Brown’s widely-hailed, courageous, and balls-out attempt to be the first horse since Affirmed in 1978 to win the Triple Crown (10 horses have tried since then; only 11 have ever won all three), I propose the following:

1. Wear brown clothes today.

I, personally, am going to wear – Ha! “Big Brown”:

. . . for obvious reasons . . .

2. List the 5 sports you find absolutely, completely, indubitably, fully useless.

In order.


1. Horse Racing (Ha!)
2. Car Racing
3. Pro Hockey (sorry, MB) (but oh yeah, Yay! Hockeytown!)
4. Greco-Roman Wrestling (sorry, Rulon Gardner)
5. Curling. Wait. I love curling. Okay, Rugby. Only because I don’t get it. Although the guys are always goooooooo-looooooooking, with those legs, and all those scrums, and everything. But it never makes any sense to me. Except for the guys. And their legs. And the scrums.


1. Bullfighting (even though my alma mater's mascot is a torero - "killer of bulls")

2. Car racing (How is this even considered a sport? People driving cars around and around in circles? Where is the sport in that?)

3. Motocross (see above)

4. Weightlifting

5. Wrestling (Ew)


Well, if I must

My top 5 useless sports:

1. Cheese Chasing

2. Tug of War (an Olympic event from 1900 to 1920)

3. Ultimate Fighting

4. Submachine Gun Shooting

5. Goat Racing

1 comment:

KathyR said...

The trouble with saying stuff like "where's the sport in car racing" is that its fans will proceed to describe in excruciating detail just what a very important and athletic event it is.

Or at least that's what happened to me when I snorted about it in front of my ex-brother-in-law.