Friday, October 4, 2013

Poor Goldilocks

We really should have bet on it. My oldest suggested it, but it just seemed too cynical, or crass, or twisted, or something. I mean, maybe, maybe all three fish would last a long time. It's possible, right? We really shouldn't take the over/under on a sentient being's life, now should we?

But I was thinking 3 - 5 days in my head. I totally would have won!

We were not planning on getting any fish. It was not even a possible maybe. But then I took my girls and Jacquie's girl to a fun, outdoor, back-to-school event at Jacquie's girl's karate dojo. It was a regular carnival, except that everything was free, which never, ever happens at a real carnival. So when my girls all wanted a chance at winning the goldfish in the plastic bags, I let them have at it.

Everyone was a winner! (Another thing that never, ever happens at a real carnival.)

So, for the rest of the time we spent there, with the girls happily breaking wood in half with mighty karate chops and fierce side kicks, and eating hot dogs, and playing other carnival games, I carried those three fish around in their  respective plastic bags.

The first of the fish in its plastic bag home.
I spilled copious water from various bags every time I tried to set those fishies down. I propped them up between shoes at one point, but would invariably look over to see yet more water trickling out of one bag or the other. It probably didn't do them any favors.

When I could take the fish-sitting no more, and it was time for Jacquie's girl to go home anyway, we set off for home, with a quick stop at my older girls' dad's house to poach a fish tank and other fishy accouterments.

We set them up in their bowl, and talked about their names; my oldest chose the name Boobie (?!), my middle, Virginia, and the youngest liked the sound of Goldilocks. When Jacquie arrived we talked about how we should really call Virginia, Vagina, and the girls suggested Butty for Goldilock's new name.

Although Jacquie was very relieved not to have a fishy coming home with her, she did say it was in some ways too bad because he could have totally been named Penis. (We are nothing if not mature.)
So Boobie, Vagina, and Butty got accostumed to life in their bowl on the kitchen counter as this week wore on. But even though those fishes had food, and love, and their very own security guard:

This is the current state of ol' Goldilocks:

Poor, poor Butty. You almost made it to day 6.


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Is there *anything* more depressing than a fish gone belly-up?

No, I think not.

But those poor little fishies will be forever immortalized by their awesome names.

Boobie, Virginia, and Goldilocks. Er, Virginia, Vagina, and Butty. I mean, Penis.

We're gonna need a bigger tank.


Nonnie said...

Thank god they weren't birds.
Love, Nonnie