From the files of perpetual miscellany:
home improvement for dummies, without irony
To continue with my redecorating on the pipe project, I made an impulse buy from the comfort of my desk at work the other day. I ordered some of these flor carpet tiles,
obviously without measuring or even making an attempt at calculating how much area I'd be covering. I ordered nine.
stranger than fiction
My kids are into a very weird reality tv show called silent library, which both repels and mystifies. On a recent episode, a group faced the following tasks: shave a leg and then rub in a thing called "pepper lotion"; get a bareback massage from a guy with carpet swatches taped to his hands; put on finger puppets and then have them snapped by mousetraps; take off your shirt and endure being shot with 6 foot rubber bands. And the trick is, you have to stay quiet or your team doesn't get the money.
speed dating with drinks in my purse
The other night, I met some friends for drinks and a movie. We sat at the bar, and at one point a woman approached and asked where the party was. Naturally, we responded: "right here!" So she sat down. Everyone thought she knew someone else in the group. Finally she asked where to sign in for the speed dating. Turns out her party was out on the patio, and I soon became obsessed with what was going on out there. I really wanted to get a photo, and finally Candace double-dog-dared me to shut up and go take one. I pulled the old pretend to check your messages while snapping a photo trick, and came up with this:
Candace was not impressed. She took my phone and marched right over to the door, held the phone in conspicuous camera position, and snapped away. Look at the people glaring at her!
But she was not satisfied with that orb of light, so back she went for more. More snapping, more glaring.
Speed dating! Can you imagine? I'd be such a nervous, blathering idiot. Thank God I'm married.
We were on our way to see Sex and the City 2, and we ordered a round of to-go cups with our last tray of cosmos so we could smuggle them into the movie in our purses.
The movie was okay. The drinks were delicious.
Have a great weekend, everybody!