Stupid summer solstice. I know, that's sacrilege for a sunshine worshipper like myself, but jeez, could the sun just come up a wee bit later? Just an hour or so? Even half?
My youngest is a rooster, she crows and doodle-doos as soon as that damn sun shows herself, even through the blasted 'june gloom' that's descended in recent weeks. 5:40 am marked this morning's wake-up call. And that's just too damn early. It's too early for me, sure, but worse, it's too early for her. She is a cranky mess by 10:30 am, then overtired by naptime, then on and on and on it goes until you just want to run away to live in the deep dark dank woods. Big bad wolf be damned.
In addition to this year's longest rays of light streaming right down into my toddler's crib at absurd hours, is the glaring lack of daycare we're currently experiencing. The combination? It's not good.
It's bad, people.
Last Tuesday was a bad day that started this bad patch. I picked up my baby girl to find a note taped to the daycare door, stating this, or something very similar:
...xxxxx daycare will be CLOSED until further notice as of 6 pm, Tuesday, June 14..........
What? It's 4:26 pm on June 14 now! You can't be serious, right?
But serious it was, and is. My daycare provider, and friend, and comfort to my wee girl is out of commission. Shut down. Kaput. Maybe for good. It's a long, sad story, that I'm too depressed to go into here, but suffice is to say, that we've been forced to move on. Way before we were ready. Sigh.
My feelings about the whole event are so twisted and jumbled and complex. I'm so sad. For everyone. I'm also pissed at 'the system,' and annoyed at the provider for not covering her ass, and anxious for my girl as she starts something new, and irritated at my lack of an immediate back-up plan, and on and on and on it goes.
And this morning, well this morning was just the icing on my current childcare crisis cake. I spent an hour and a half at the preschool that we were lucky to get little miss C into on such short notice. I should be grateful, and happy, and counting my many blessings. It's close to our house, it's a nice facility, it's somewhere that close friends have sent their children to and praise highly. But I'm not.
I found the visit disappointing. Dispiriting even. No shoe taking off? No sounds during story? Up to 21 kids each day?
I know it will be fine. I know it will work out. But today? Well today I'm just despondent and miffed and pathetic. Oh, and did I mention tired?