Thursday, June 14, 2012

yay, me!


Yesterday, our coffee machine broke down. It refused to power on, and it was depressing. My husband was trying to make coffee, and he was understandably irritated to be unable to complete this most basic and essential of tasks. He had ground the beans and filled the water reservoir, but then when it refused to turn on, he gave up and went to work. I should have helped him, a nicer wife would have helped him. But it wasn’t time for me to get up yet, and I wasn’t thinking about helping him, I was thinking about killing him. Because yesterday was his last day of work until Labor Day. When I got up, I boiled water in the kettle and poured it into the brewing basket. (Duh). I’m not only mean and unhelpful, I’m also selfish and jealous and bitter. At least I had coffee.

Today is not my last day of school, nor is it my first day of summer vacation. Tomorrow I will not sleep in before leisurely turning on the Today show and playing Words with Friends in bed. By the middle of next week I will not lose track of which day it is with all of the fun having and challenges of leisure. Do you know who will experience these luxuries? Every person who lives in my fucking house.  Plus the dog, probably. I’m not sure if she is hip to things like days and times or sleeping late. Sleeping late for her probably means never waking up, and no one wants that, so let’s just leave her out of the equation for now. 

Everyone else, though? They all have the entire summer off and they are as free as wee tiny birdies up in da sky. I hate them I’m happy for them! I They deserve it. 

It’s the busiest time of year for me at work, while the ocean warms and days lengthen and the westy beckons. 

Sigh. 

I guess it will be an even longer summer if I continue this pity party. I will just have to find the bright side. For the next 11 weeks, I am not responsible for dragging anyone’s lazy arse out of their warm bed. Except for my own arse and my own bed. I do not have to force feed anyone stupid conceited breakfast. I will not be required to buy groceries, prepare food, or do laundry. I actually have a pretty good argument against doing cleaning of any kind, since I will hardly be in the house enough to mess it up. On the weekends, I’ll be able to choose our activities since I have so few days off, they can do the dumb stuff during the week with their dad. I can make long, complicated chore lists for the kids if they want to earn money for said dumb things. I can take some half days and meet them at the beach, thus eliminating my participation in any rousing/packing/prepping for said beach days. 

Ya know what? It’s gonna be a great summer!

9 comments:

Meg Butler said...

Jacquie, the first half of this made me want to immediately break up with the teacher I'm dating; he's done next week and is already irritating me with his "summer mode" attitude and giddy excitement, hahaha. On the other hand, he's adorable and sweet and funny, so there's that, and then your second half clinched it. He can stick around, for now. ;)

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Yay, you is right. Just *think* of how awesome it will be not to have to pack or prep for a beach day! Oh, wait. Maybe you should leave long, complicated lists for those who *are* responsible for packing. Chair, cooler, visor, sunscreen, second cooler. Check.

I *am* sorry for your working woes, but just think about how much blessed time you get away from those loved ones of yours. What bickering?

Love you, Schnook.
Ellie

Elizabeth said...

I was just thinking about how irritating teachers were yesterday. I know! Did I really just write this? I did! I think they may be the profession with the highest whining rate, yet they get more damn time off than anyone. Wtf?

I'm tempted to only say "summer vacation" next time I hear a teacher bitch. Nothing else. So yes, yes, indeed, "I’m also selfish and jealous and bitter."

But Ellie does have a good point about the bickering, that will be Bill's pain, not yours. Yay for you!

Love you working girl,

Beth

MB said...

Sorry for you, Jacq, but yay for no chores and force-feeding conceited breakfast for a while! xoxo
P.S. Happy summer, Bill & kids!

Mom C. said...

How about me? 2 more work days next week and then I'm on vacation for the rest of my life..... Am I ready for this??? love, mom

Mom C said...

Is it just me or is proving you're not a robot getting harder?? mom

Anonymous said...

( l love you, mom )

atta girl, Jacq. My kids are well into summer vacation already, and my art of leaving chores lists is being refined nicely.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Is that you, Julie? Jane's kids just finished last week so I don't think it's her.

Beth, you'd better watch out next time you come to ballet with that teacher trash talking!

Mom, I know! Endless summer. You will make it awesome, and if you get bored you can have my job. And yes, it is getting harder not to be a robot.

Thanks for your support, MB and Ellie.

And Meg? adorable, sweet and funny are well and good, but will he do your laundry?

xoxoxoxo to all y'all

Jacquie

Elizabeth said...

I am not afraid.