Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Ode to the fan

My husband loves to sleep with both "white noise" and cold air. I prefer neither.

But to keep the peace, it's either the air conditioner or the ceiling fan. Lately I've decided that the fan is the lesser evil of the two, because I can still kind-of hear my children should they call out in the night. And, as Jacquie recently reminded us, it can provide entertainment during the daytime hours.

But still, the awful fan keeps me awake at night, composing bad poetry in my head. Here's last night's ditty:

Dry eyes
Chapped lips
Throat sore
Oh how I abhor
The fan

But what am I to do? My husband is, sadly, an ardent ceiling fan.

Mark, can I use this please? Thx.

Return it?

Oh, don't think I haven't thought about it.

Maybe I'll just resort to a little "fan" humor instead. Because not only is my honey a ceiling fan, he's also a Yankees fan.

A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student.

"Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?"

"The Padres."

"Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Padres fans, so I'm a Padres fan too."

"That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?"

"No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"


Pickles and Dimes said...

ARGHGHGGHHG! Your husband is a YANKEES fan?!?

I am so disappointed.

NOT a MORON in PA said...

who knew that great guy who made sure I had a fish taco in my hand/mouth within 3o minutes of meeting me, was a Yankees fan?!?

I say make him choose between the fan and the Yankees! Remind him that he can be an Orioles fan AND a Padres fan and still not be a MORON :)

Here's hoping is has a very short-lived post season.

Logical Libby said...

What about one of those white noise machines? Or a humidifier? Those make a ton of noise -- and no dry lips!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

I was going to stand up for T in defense of the ceiling fan. But seriously... the Yankees? I need to go puke.


Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh, how abhorrent those Yankees are. Disgusting. Grotesque. Repulsive.

And yes. Moronic.