Wednesday, October 29, 2008


If you are a child psychologist or work for Child Protective Services, let's just say that the following is a hypothetical description of Halloween decorating gone wrong, and that names and identities have been changed to protect the demented innocent.

Ever since we turned the calendar page to October, my kids have been obsessed with decorating for Halloween. I'd like to think that we generally fall somewhere between holly-hobby-wholesome and full blown psychosis. Neighborhood children need not be afraid to traverse our driveway, but they'd be well advised to keep their guards up.

This year's decorations started out innocently enough,
with lots of tissue ghosts and stretchy spiderwebs.

We pulled a few scary things out of the garage, like this guy

who eyeballs me through the kitchen window -
as if I needed another reason to avoid that room altogether.

And yes, the quart of fake blood was also soon summoned

and one day after we waited for over an hour in the pediatrician's exam room,
several inflated latex-free gloves were recruited

Then one day the sewing kit came out for some other reason,
and the decorations took a marked turn for the macabre

This is clearly the work of a zombie clown

who pulled an innocent cheerleader over to the dark side

Something tells me we will not be giving out a lot of candy this Halloween.

Would you let your innocent child enter this den of iniquity?

Happy Halloween!


Nancy said...

You guys are too funny. I love the hanging safety pinned pigs =)


Me, You, or Ellie said...

No, I'd say you're actually fully over to the full-blown psychosis side, where zombie clowns and haunted cheerleaders rule the earth, and innocent stuffed Garfields, for the love of pete, get sucked into evil webs.

Your kids must have had a blast, demented little cherubs they are.


Pickles and Dimes said...

That is AWESOME. Although the Scream mask freaks me out.

Heinous said...

I love safety pin bear and garfield in the web. Nice work.

Kat said...

I tagged all you girls for an award over at my place. Back in a min to read the entry!

Kat said...

Oh my goodness Garfield was decapitated!! Call the authorities!!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Looks to me like the Zombie clown (or was it the haunted cheerleader?) is destined to open a body piercing parlor when he grows up.


xup said...

I love old Headless Pumpkin Pants. Now he’s one scary dude!

Deb on the Rocks said...

I'm fine throwing children past that threshhold, but I'm waiting in the car!

Trannyhead said...

I'm with deb - Sumo can go all up in there, but my ass is waiting at the curb.

Your decorations are totally hawt. My question is - have any crappy stick in the mud neighbors complained? If I did that, neighbors would totally send anonymous hate mail.

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Isn't that pumpkin butt hilarious?! We drove by that one day and I pulled over and made my boy take the photo out his window. there was a girl with strategically placed pumpkins, too!

Neighbors have not said a word, they're probably afraid to. Most of the carnage is blocked from teh street, you have to be in the driveway to get the full effect. We call it "The Haunted Junkyard"